>Date: 14 Nov 95 18:28:53 EST >From: Steven Yates <102154.3102@compuserve.com> >To: , , , , >Subject: Impromptu Book Review To LibProfs and Others: Impromptu Book Review *Banned From Public Radio: Humor, Commentary and Smart Remarks Your Government DOESN'T Want You To Hear* by Michael Graham Pinpoint Press, 1995 (address and additional information below) Pp. 135 The title of this first book by Columbia, South Carolina- based writer Michael Graham is literally true: he was banned from the South Carolina Educational Radio Network courtesy of those geniuses in our General Assembly for commentary which poked fun at their 1991 Ethics Act. Graham also has the distinction of being the only person officially fired from his job as communications director for SC Secretary of State Jim Miles by an act of those same courageous geniuses. What was all the fuss about? Graham is a humorist and political commentator of the "old school," the one made famous by the late, great Henry Louis Mencken, Graham's acknowledged role model and the source of such bits of wisdom as, "Democracy is the theory that the common man knows what he wants and deserves to get it -- good and hard," and "Nobody ever went broke under- estimating the taste of the American public." *Banned from Public Radio* collects the best of his locally-published columns over the past few years which have begun to earn him quite a reputation in this particular neck of the woods but are deserving of a wider audience despite their distinctly local flavoring. Graham's is a species of the nothing- is-sacred school of political satire. He's not exactly a Libertarian; he would agree with Mencken again that "The common man doesn't want to be free, he simply wants to be safe" - there's a great deal in this book that Libertarians of whatever stripe will find of interest and amusement, since many of Graham's targets are politicians and bureaucrats. A section is entitled "Clinton and Me," for example. Consider (from the chapter "Every American's Right"): "We began in 1994 by bringing health security to every American. Our universal health care program brought equity and access to all. While the overall program is a little more expensive than the $2 trillion dollars we estimated, I [am] pleased to announce that costs are dropping somewhat this year, due to a drastic increase in the number of people who died while waiting to see a doctor. Nevertheless, we brought you health security [*Congress applauds*]. Graham lampoons Shannon Faulkner and her lawyers ("Shouldn't one of her counselors have advised Faulkner to skip a few Twinkies?"); but puts The Citadel in its place as well: "The Citadel's "high standards" have little credibility given that current Citadel admissions requirements are (1) Who's your daddy? and (2) Where's his checkbook? (Come to think of it, rather like the admissions requirements of most public institutions of higher mediocrity these days.) He also doesn't hesitate to lampoon Christian funda- mentalists - something which has also endeared him to the local South Carolina masses, of that you can be sure. Here "God's Geeks" is the standout column, which recounts a little-known news item about a man who literally starved to death in his snow-encumbered pick-up truck because he thought God would perform a miracle and save him. "Faith teaches that there is a reason for all this, and there is: Finley [his name, obviously] was an idiot." He compares this man's "ordeal" with that of Scott O'Grady who while behind enemy lines in Bosnia prayed a lot and afterwards thanked "God and the Marines in that order" - but had *done something about his predicament*. Says Graham, "One could argue . . . that Finlay's faith was greater because he left the entire matter in the Lord's hands. I, however, have this image of God looking down from on high and shaking His head in amazement: "What in My name is this moron thinking? Sheesh! What do I gotta do with you people? Send Charlton Heston down with directions carved in stone: 'Thou shalt get out of thy truck and walk thy droopy derrier back to town?!' Where's Darwin when you need him?" Lest we misunderstand, Graham doesn't reject Christianity out of hand: "The church has a long, proud history of intellectualism: St. Augustine, Aquinas, C. S. Lewis, and G. K. Chesterton, to name a few. Whether you agree or disagree with their conclusions, you must take these people seriously because they are serious, substantial people. "Not one of them would ever attend an Amy Grant concert or discuss biblical criticism with Jim and Tammye Faye. Or starve to death in the cab of his pickup truck waiting on God to drop him a sandwich." *Banned From Public Radio* endorses things like a state lottery: "A lottery is simply the ideal form of taxation: a voluntary tax on the stupid." Such remarks, of course, are the key to the method behind Michael Graham's brand of madness: the same celebration of the perennial stupidness which infests the world H. L. Mencken celebrated. I've heard Graham remark that we now live in a time when the name of the game is to be as stupid as possible and still live: "The standard of freedom for many Americans is the right to be as stupid as possible and still live; to hug that fine line where, if they knew one fact fewer, were a single IQ point less attentive, they would be incapable of sustaining life. . . Ban the lottery because it takes advantage of stupid people? Then why not ban boxing? Used- car salesmen? The Democratic Party?" You get the idea. Now many libertarians may be uncomfortable with some of this. After all, capitalism - free markets - come off no more sacred than anything else. If democracy is the theory that the common man knows what he wants and deserves to get it good and hard; then isn't capitalism the economic equivalent which says that the common man knows best how to spend his money and deserves the results: Melrose Place on TV, Jackie Collins novels, Cabbage-Patch Dolls, Snoop Doggy Dogg cd's? Graham would agree completely. He would add that it's still better than anything else. After all, the masses will always be the masses, and there is probably no cure for stupidity. The government can force individuals to part company with some of their hard earned money to pay taxes; one thing it cannot force anyone to do is stop being stupid. (But we have to worry when stupidity no longer exacts a price.) At any rate, this book is a nice reminder that oftentimes laughter really is the best medicine. Particularly this week, when we've seen the federal government shut down because the two wings of the Duopoly can't decide on how to divide up the country. No need to say, "Mencken, where are you when we need you." Just get Graham's book. You won't be able to stop laughing. Pinpoint Press: P.O. Box 5146 / Columbia, SC 29250. E-mail inquiries: Navigator9@aol.com. ____________________ Steven Yates Independent Scholar in Philosophy 3900 Bentley Dr., #1028 / Columbia, SC 29210 (803) 731-5483 102154.3102@compuserve.com 14-Nov-95